My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
