I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
