Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize