Sponge bath it is.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
vagina is talking i cant
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
