hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
