I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
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