ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
