just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
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