When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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