I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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