i'm signing you up for texting rehab
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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