i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
