I'm gonna have a badass scar
I wish I only lived at night.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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