Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize