Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
