Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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