garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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