I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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