i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
