I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
