The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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