you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
