I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
