Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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