she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
My feet surprised me
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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