Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
