my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize