My hair reeks of homosexuality.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
