I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
