Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
