Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
