I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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