there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
