I think my vagina is haunted
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
its liver damage thursday
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