he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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