I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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