Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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