Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
