You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
