I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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