Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
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you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Less talking, more tequila
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
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Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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