dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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