he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
