There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
This house was built for laser tag.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
