You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
So apparently I’m into choking now
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
