god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
