ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
