Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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