it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
There r osticjed everywhere
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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