You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
