i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
