U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize