My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
