if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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