i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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