Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
