I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
